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best freeware shoot 'em ups 2009

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5. Space Phallus

Space Phallus is a retro horizontal shooter with a naughty theme, created by the developer of Bullet Candy and Irukandji. Here you pilot the disembodied head of a dog, fighting against hordes of enemies in the shape of unmentionable body parts with only an assortment of three weapons at your disposal. Thankfully these weapons can blow away anything that stands in your path, just as long as you use them wisely and sparingly.

There are three stages to play in total. The game features an online high score table, a special guest appearance by General Custer himself, and is available for Windows, Mac OS X and Linux operating systems.

"The idea for Space Phallus came when I was trying to think of another game to write after I'd finished Bullet Candy. I was talking to my brother I think, and he joked about doing a game with cocks in. I though I'd call his bluff, and set about writing a really dreadful defender clone with cocks in. It was shit, so I stopped working on it. A couple of years later, I was in a bit of a creative black hole with another project, and decided I'd procrastinate a bit and do something with all the graphics I'd done for the game, changing the style of the game to a more traditional side scroller as I went. And thus, Space Phallus as we now know it was born.

I do not have an obsession with cocks, although I did go through a phase of drawing cocks in inappropriate public places when I was drunk. I seem to have gotten past that now though, although I have a part time job at a place with a large-ish expanse of grass and big tub of weed killer. It's seriously all I can do to stop myself finding out when the Google satellite is going to pass over next. Also, I have a subscription to Viz, if that helps.

You can expect to see The Space Phallus itself, and more light hearted cock based fun in the final version. I never say never to sequels, but for the moment I've animated enough cocks to start thinking that there might be something wrong with me on quite a deep mental level. I'm nearly 30, and I've spend a day of my life animating rotor blades attached to a giant disembodied scrotum." - Charlie

Name: Space Phallus
Developer: Charlie's Games
Platform: Windows, Mac, Linux
Size: 9.18 MB
Also by this developer: Irukandji

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